Now, THIS is border control, folks!!

    Now this is what I'm talkin' about, real border control. No need to worry about that anchor baby, yuk, yuk.

Jindal Not An American Citzen

Bobby Jindal was a living, breathing human being when he crossed the borders of the United States in January of 1971. He began his miserable little life in Malerkotla, Punjab, India, in October, 1970, and three months later his mother and father hopped on a plane to the U.S. so he could become an anchor baby. 

He was not conceived in the U.S. and his parents were not citizens. He is not a citizen of the U.S. Bobby Jindal, you have to go. 

Donald Trump. Sadly, Still Not A Human Being

DNA tests revealed today that, sadly, Donald Trump is still not a fully formed human being. His genetic makeup is 98% Neanderthal. 

I'm Not Joseph Mengele

That's not me. I only do science on dead babies.

Dr. Carson says, "I'M NO DR. MENGELE!!"

Responding to attacks by liberal elitists Dr. Ben Carson maintained that he was no Dr. Mengele. Carson said that the difference between him and the infamous Nazi Angel of Death is that Mengele did research on live babies while he, Dr. Carson, only did research on babies that had been murdered in the womb and then transferred to his facilities. 

Sting on God Abortions!!

The Center for Medical Idiocy issued a transcript of its latest abortion sting, this time it was on GOD!

CMI:  Mr. God, thanks for helping us with the abortion issue. You have been performing abortions on millions of women throughout the millenia, well, since 6000 B.C...

God:  Don't believe that claptrap about the age of the earth, its 4.5 billion years old.

CMI:  Well, we are trying to get some information on how to get some fetal tissue to donate to science. We want to help humanity.

God:  You need some help.

CMI:  When you do the abortions how do you know if you have some good body parts?

God:   Technically, they're called spontaneous abortions, miscarriages. Whether you have usable body parts depends on a lot of factors, the term of the abortion, health of the mother, physical condition of the fetus.

CMI:   Do you get some intact body parts?

God:   Look, an abortion is a bloody, fucking mess. And, by the way, don't blame me, it was Eve who forced me to make women have pain in childbirth. Sometimes you just have to feel around in all the blood, placenta, whatever, to see if you have anything usable.

CMI:  So, how do you start these abort...I mean miscarriages?

God:  Oh, it's mostly random, sometimes the mother gets real sick. If the miscarriage is late in the pregnancy and she doesn't get some medical help she will probably die.

CMI:  Could you let us know when you were going to perform a spontaneous abortion, you know, like a text or email or something?

God:  Why would you want to know that?

CMI;  Well, we have many contacts and they might be able to get to the abortion in time to get some parts.

God:  What? You'd just let the woman bleed to death?

CMI:  Hey, like you said, it's Eve's fault. Thank you for your time, God.